This is probably not something I should blog about, but I honestly don’t have the strength, energy or right frame of mind to type something else. I also want to stay true to my resolutions and post something each week, at this stage for the sake of my sanity. This week has tested me in so many ways, and I’m at my wits end.

My eyes were swollen and puffed up from the amount of crying I’d done. This week has been the week from hell. My dog, Breezer, aka the apple of my eye, woke up feeling a little unwell on Sunday. She usually gets a bout of summer heat that makes her ill for about 24-48 hours and then she gets better.

We thought if we’d given her a bath she’d be fine as it would cool her body, which it did. Little did we know what was brewing. Sunday she threw up and by Monday, her condition was much worse. We rushed her to our vet, massive thank you to all the doctors and vets that are working through this lockdown.

The vet booked in an appointment with the specialist so they could do an ultrasound to see what’s the issue and to try and fix it. We brought Breezer back home and waited patiently to take her to the next appointment and in this time she started bleeding all over the floor. By this point, I thought I’d lost her. We rushed her to the specialist and found out her intestine has been entangled. We were given two options either put her to sleep or surgery. We went for the latter, as none of us were (or ever will be) ready to say goodbye to Breezer. Due to Covid-19, we weren’t allowed to go inside and see her one last time before her surgery.

The vet and specialist immediately performed a complex surgery on her to give her a fighting chance but told us the facts that this is a complex surgery and it could go either way. By 7 pm, we heard that the surgery was underway and by this time both dad and I were an absolute mess. In my 29 years of life, I have never seen or heard my dad cry, but Monday 6th April 2020 changed that. About an hour or so later we got a call to say that Breezer pulled through and made it but they need to keep her under observation for 24-48 hours to make sure her recovery goes okay.

By this point, my eyes were swollen and puffed up and the tears just didn’t want to stop flowing. I decided to call it a night and went to sleep, only to have vivid nightmares of Breezer and her blood and the stench that followed. By the time I woke up, there had already been two updates, one that she had shown good progress and two the vets were trying to get her heartbeat and blood pressure back to normal.

Slowly but steadily, the response has been better but because she had dehydrated herself she’s still a very sick dog. But unfortunately, this morning, her health deteriorated and it got worse. She went into a cardiac arrest and just like that she’s gone. My mental health is at an all-time low because my best friend is gone. It hasn’t quite sunk in yet, that she’s not coming back home. The house is so empty without her the sound of her paws running from one room to the other or her barks each time our house has been in imminent danger due to the neighbouring cats watching into our house.

If I haven’t responded to your texts or have been snappy when talking to you I apologise, I have been fighting a battle. I’m really thankful to those who have fought this battle with me and asked for constant updates and gave me the reassurance that everything will be okay. I’m sorry to have been selfish and involve you in what is already a very stressful time, but I couldn’t help it but I do thank you for being there.

I will try my best to write a better/different blog next week, but what will happen only time will tell.

Until next time,

MiliG